


Keep my legacy alive, even if I don't survive

by Deeambles



Series: Man is such a fool (why are we saving him?) [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Bonding, GedoMazou!Hashirama, Gen, but Madara and Hashirama are ridiculous so what else would there, but madaras sanity is questionable no matter the fic so, i guess as angst as war babies get anyways, theres some comedy in there too, we only have good brother relationships in my household
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-01-31 21:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deeambles/pseuds/Deeambles
Summary: Hashirama sets off from Konoha to spare his loved ones the pain of watching him deteriorate. Madara and Zetsu are desperately trying to find a way to stabilize the Gedo Mazou. They all find what they’re looking for in the end.Fate is unkind, in that regard.





	1. Here comes goodbye

“I’ll be fine Tobirama”  

Tobirama’s face remains carefully, neutrally, blank, despite Hashirama’s reassurances. 

“There’s no written record that said it would cause pain, Tobria” 

It’s a low shot bringing out the nicknames, Hashirama knows, but he’s desperately trying to get a reaction out of Tobirama. A scrunch of the eyebrows, a smile, tears, anger, anything. 

Anything that won’t leave them off like this. 

“I— I just have to leave, I don’t want anyone to get hurt” Hashirama tries, and for a second he thinks he sees a flicker of what might be annoyance in those red eyes. His path ways are clogging like dirt filling a hole, and sensing anything is becoming a challenge, even with Tobirama standing directly in front of him. 

It doesn’t help Tobirama’s face is unreadable on a good day, but Hashirama will not walk away from the village without some acknowledgement from his last little brother. He didn’t get to say goodbye to Itama and Kawarama. His last goodbye to Madara he doesn’t even want to think about. He can not, will not, do the same thing here. 

Tobirama seems to know this. 

He hears a little sigh, and Tobirama makes eye contact again. 

“I could find a cure” 

Hashirama smiles, it pulls at his cheeks where they’ve already begun to stiffen and he can feel the crack on his lower lip splinter a little like glass cracking from the cold. 

Tobirama must see it too. 

“Brother please—“ 

“Tobirama” Hashirama interrupts, and Tobirama’s mouth shuts closed again. 

“We knew this would happen, father knew this would happen, the elders knew this would happen” Hashirama says quietly, looking for any sign his brother won’t shut down the minute he walks out. That he won’t follow him using his superior sensing abilities, and Hashirama’s deteriorating ones. 

“I’ll be okay. The records say it’s just like going to sleep, I won’t even know.” 

He doesn’t mention the theories that suggested constant awareness as a tree, or the ones that said he wouldn’t move to the pure land until the tree he becomes dies.

He hid those texts as a child after the elders gave him scrolls to study from. Then it was from all his little brothers, but now it’s just Tobirama. 

It is possibly the only secret he has kept from him, and theories or not, he doesn’t need Tobirama over thinking this. 

He just needs to Go. By himself. Before he injures someone transforming into a tree. 

“Brother” and oops Hashirama’s been thinking too long “you don’t have to walk into the wilderness to die by yourself that’s—“ 

Tobirama cuts himself off there looking a little constipated and Hashirama can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from his chest at that. 

“Depressing?” Hashirama guesses, “I suppose a little, but I’ve never been lonely in nature just like you never were every time you snuck out to swim in the river” 

Hashirama grins and Tobirama rolls his eyes but seems to concede the point. 

“What if you run into someone. You couldn’t even take down a fly right now” Tobirama says, and he’s scowling now, which is honestly a relief next to the neutral face of death. 

“Excuse you, I could still give you a run for your money, thank you” Hashirama sulks. It’s for show, cause the more he thinks about the more he’s sure he would get his ass handed to him if he and Tobirama spared right now. Being stiff while facing someone who is the fastest shinobi of their generation probably isn’t the best plan anyway. 

“Sure you could” Tobirama drawls, he’s eyeing Hashirama’s joints, where his elbow doesn’t fully extend and his knees creak if he doesn’t move them constantly. 

Hashirama is suddenly glad their covered, no one needs the visual reminder that his joints look more like prosthetics than human limbs now. 

Hashirama lets out a sigh,” Fine, maybe not you, but a bandit still doesn’t stand a chance” 

He really needs to leave though and Tobirama still doesn’t seem convinced. He needs a way out, something that’ll make sure Tobirama will stay here. He’d ask Mito or Touka but he’s pretty sure they’d take Tobirama’s side. 

He risks a glance at Tobirama’s face again, but his little brother is staring out at the back yard of the compound from where they’re standing on the foyer. Hashirama follows his gaze to the mountain where he can see his face carved in. He thinks he probably looks like that face now more than ever, with his face stiffening and all. 

Tobirama’s or Madara’s would have actually been in good likeness up there, considering the hard lines of their faces which— 

Which gives him an idea. 

“You’ll be a good Hokage” Hashirama blurts 

Tobirama whips his head around, “excuse me?” 

“Hokage, you’ll be a good Hokage.” Hashirama repeats and Tobirama eyes are narrowing 

“We have a voting system now, if you’ve forgotten, brother” 

“Yes, of course but you kind of are the public face besides mine. You do all this administrating work, who do you think the people will say when asked who they think would make a good Hokage?” 

“Brother, don’t—“ 

“It’s fitting Tobirama! Really, I think you’ll be great” Hashirama is bullshitting out his ass but damn well he’s making sure his brother won’t follow him. If Tobirama thinks he might be a candidate, then he’ll be forced to stay here or cause disruption in the village, or worse, piss off the elders.

Hashirama actually has no idea who the candidates the elders and daimyo have been talking about but Tobirama doesn’t need to know that.  

Hashirama smiles again at his brother, softer, and shoved with as much love and sorrow he can fit into it. 

“Won’t you forgive me, Tobirama?” He says in a low voice. He has to go but not until Tobirama looks like he won’t follow. Until he looks like he won’t break down. 

“I always forgive you” Tobirama mumbles 

“Even when I turned your bookshelf into a tree?” 

Tobirama rolls his eyes again, but he’s starting to look like he’s going to a cry and Hashirama can’t help but close the awkward, stifling, no good gap between them and crushes his brother in a hug.  

Hashirama is definitely sobbing but his shoulder is also wet so crying into Tobirama’s hair will be forgiven just this once he thinks. 

“I love you little brother” 

He can feel Tobirama’s shoulders shaking a bit where they are gripping each other. 

“I love you anija” Tobirama whispers. 

They hug for another minute but eventually Hashirama peels back for one more watery smile. 

He’s said his goodbyes. Mito, Touka, the elders, but Tobirama, he thinks, is the one that will test him. The one that will make him want to come back after he’s set off, the one that will make him doubt doing it alone in the first place. 

For the moment, he doesn’t let it stop him though. He smiles and leaves and doesn’t turn around because if he does he might just stop and admit he’s scared. Admit he doesn’t wanna be alone. Admit he might not be so well matched against bandits. Admit those theories still scare him as much as they did when he was a child.

He tries to diverge his thoughts and thinks of how Madara might have felt walking away from the village the first time, and let’s that old forgotten confidence fuel his will and keep his feet forward. 

 

_It will be fine_ , Hashirama thinks, and absolutely does not let himself think anything else,  _it has to be_.


	2. But our friends are back, let’s raise a cup

The trees sway in the breeze and despite Hashirama starting to feel like he’s been walking to death rather than walking  _to_  his death, it’s a pretty day.                                               

He thought maybe the trees would be groaning with his pain like they so often do, but he supposes he’s about to join them, which isn’t really a reason for them to be sad.

It’s starting to show some similarities to conscious trees theory so Hashirama quickly puts that out of his head lest thinking that makes it come to life. 

But overall, a pretty day. 

He started off running through the trees, his first and foremost goal was to get the hell out of Tobirama’s range. Whether Tobirama remembers or not, Hashirama remembers how his little brothers face contorted when he felt Itama die. When he wasn’t fast enough to stop the child hunters from closing in. There was tears and snot on his face when he finally found him sure, but before? When he felt the chakra go out like a candle? Tobirama had hunched in on himself, face shadowed, and his chakra had become as dark blue as the unreachable parts of the ocean. 

It was the type of quiet inconsolable grief that Hashirama has never truly known how to give solace to. 

He knows his brother will mourn regardless, but the last thing he needs is to feel is Hashirama’s chakra go out too. 

Well, Hashirama thinks, his chakra will mostly go out anyways. Specifically, his chakra should release all the refined properties and leave only the bare amount of nature chakra a tree should need. 

Of course, it’s been a while since the last Mokuton user, and the texts on it were a little sketchy but hey, Hashirama has other things to focus on. 

Like getting out of Tobirama’s range. 

It’s not that Hashirama doesn’t know his brothers range, but well. 

He doesn’t really know his brothers range. 

He’s pretty sure it changes frequently so Hashirama has made the executive decision to go north to some of the abandoned lands and hope for the best. He thinks that there’s a peninsula up there somewhere him and Tobirama once debated about with Madara if that counted as Fire country or not. 

Turns out no daimyo has claimed it, Hashirama has always wondered why, but between running a clan and building a village of his own he’s never been able to find out.

There’s a little feeling in the back of his head as well. A small inkling of  _something_. Hashirama thinks he might be choosing the right direction. It was the feeling he used to get whenever he needs to find Madara on the battlefield, a little  _look this way_ of sorts. 

He’s not sure how to describe it but he trusts it as it refuels his steps toward the edge of Fire and the unclaimed forests of beyond. 

He rests a little at night, but too much and he’s afraid he’ll stiffen permanently before he reaches wherever his subconscious wants him to go so badly. 

The top of Fire country doesn’t lose its trees like Hashirama had thought it might like it does toward lightning. In fact, it clearly gets denser. 

Hashirama loves it. He may have the nickname of the god of shinobi but his first and foremost one was tree hugger and these trees are bigger and denser and covered in vegetation from canopy to roots.

It’s  _amazing_  and Hashirama hopes his body turns him into one of these because the amount of natural chakra here is intense and it’s perfect and feels  _right_  over everything else. 

After he’s calmed down a bit he realizes the feeling has intensified, which is, strange. 

Normally once he finds what he’s looking for it goes away, and Hashirama  _knows_  this is what he was meant to find. His body, previously hurting and aching and stiffening is singing right now and he feels the best he has in years. 

But the feeling in the back of his mind is as persistent as before, if not more so since he’s gone north. 

Hashirama isn’t sure what is means, but he starts crossing the canopies toward the end of the peninsula to see if that will solve it 

He feels his heart clench a little moving away from the previous spot, but Hashirama figures the trees ahead seem quite dense too so it shouldn’t make that much a difference. 

Besides, the further away from Konoha and Tobirama’s range the better. His little brother does not need to sense him in his final moments, He  _does no_ t. 

Hashirama was right, the trees are just as dense but the previous feeling of life and _greengreengreen_ he felt before has isn’t as present. 

The moss is darker, and the trees seem to be more dormant than anything, barely acknowledging Hashirama’s presence. 

A little unnerved, Hashirama jumps down to a small clearing beneath the trees. There’s a stone there with a worn-down carving. 

A family sigil, Hashirama thinks, not one he recognizes. 

A black circle with four pointed triangles inside it, facing away from a white circle in the center, making a strange star almost. It has cracks in between, however he’s not sure if that’s from age or a carver’s hands. 

It’s old and most definitely abandoned considering there’s not a human structure or even a road in sight. Hashirama finds it’s sad almost, to be the only thing left of whatever clan this was. 

He pulls the vines from the stone and clears it of stray moss before jumping back to the peaks of the trees. 

That wasn’t it either, Hashirama thinks a little frustrated, the feeling is still there in the back of his head. 

It’s stronger than before, like Hashirama is missing something under his nose. 

Lost in his thoughts, it’s not until he nearly runs into a sharp, bone white spear like object stabbing out from the tree line that he realizes just how far north he’s gotten. 

They’re everywhere. Protruding out of the canopies and it’s not till Hashirama sees a giant scull resting between the trees that he realizes they’re not spears, they’re _bones_. 

Hashirama can feel his heart kicking up because whatever these skeletons belong to were huge and he doesn’t want to encounter its ghost and what if he’s haunted forever but stuck as a tree—

Hashirama in his panic, falls through the canopy. 

To his confusion it doesn’t stop there, oh no, fate has him falling straight into relatively soft ground that completely gives way to be a tunnel in which he falls straight through into a dark dark cave. 

Amid him falling he recognizes more of those symbols carved into the walls and all he can think is how he can’t get his body to listen and he’s going to fall straight on his back and  _damn_  it’s going to hurt. 

It almost goes that way. Except he lands on something, and it’s breathing and it caught him and it’s  _warm_ , the first time Hashirama has really felt warmth since his body started its decline. 

He realizes he knocked whoever caught him back into a seat and he raises his head to apologize  ~~and profusely thank~~  but before he can his voice jams into his throat 

He stops breathing and all the warmth he felt before drains out of him like water dousing fire. 

Wild black hair, pale skin, angular features, all attached to one clearly alive Uchiha Madara, stares back down at him. 

 

The feeling in the back of his head vanishes. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the symbol he comes across is the Ōtsutsuki sigil just so we're clear


	3. A couple old flames to help me bid you farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hashirama is sleepy. madara is decisive in an undeceive way. Zetsu wins this one

Madara will deny to his second dying day that he screamed. 

Hashirama also screamed so he can probably get away with it. 

“MADARA WHAT THE FU—” Hashirama starts, launching himself off his not!dead friends lap. 

“HASHIRAMA WHY ARE YOU HERE”

“WHY AM I HERE? WHY ARE YOU ALIVE? 

The idiot is on his ass, but still manages to portray betrayal and confusion and anger all while yelling at the top of his lungs. 

Ridiculous, Madara thinks. 

He scoffs, “What are you talking about”  _hellooo_  denial, his old friend. 

Hashirama gapes up at him from the floor. 

“Madara” he whimpers 

Oh kami, Madara thinks, please don’t cry, Madara can deal with an outraged Hashirama, but not a sobbing one. Those tears are contagious and nothing can convince him otherwise. 

Hashirama gets up then and Madara has no idea if he’s going to lunge and hug him or punch him. He’s always been unpredictable like that, but before Hashirama can do anything Zetsu is behind him and Hashirama is... too slow? 

Not to say he doesn’t try, he recognizes the presence when it appears behind him, but Zetsu hits him the back of the neck, knocking him out before Hashirama makes it all the way around.

Hashirama falls and Madara is the one to lunge and catch him before he hits the ground. 

He slowly looks up- Zetsu is looking down at him in the most blank look he’s seen from the creature- and watches as the blank stare creeps into a discerning grin. 

“Bring him here” it rasps and turns toward the room with the giant flower, the Gedo Mazou, and Hashirama’s artificial clone, and suddenly Madara isn’t sure at all.  

He looks down at his ex-best friends still body. Hashirama has always looked peaceful in sleep whether it’s now or when they were 12. 

“Madara” Zetsu drawls, “you made your choice, or should I remind you what he said when he killed you, how he betrayed you, how he’s another you get to save.” 

“He can help you save them all.... come” 

Madara can feel the fury in his core reignite. Whether it’s because of Zetsu’s treating him like a child or a reminder of him losing he’s not quite sure. 

He looks down again at Hashirama, and thinks _I’ll save everyone_ , but it always was his  _and_  Hashirama’s dream, wasn’t it? He can help with Madara’s version just as he helped with Hashirama’s. 

He throws Hashirama over his shoulder and starts after Zetsu. Where his hand is holding Hashirama’s knee gives him pause though, his pants seem to be catching on something, where they should be only sliding on smooth skin. 

He frowns, and Zetsu looks over and grins again. 

“Didn’t you know Madara? The Mokuton takes over the user eventually, turning them into their element. It’s perfect” 

No, Madara did _not_ know and suddenly he wonders if Hashirama was out in bum fuck nowhere because he had come to die. If that is the case, where is Tobirama? His little brother that clearly was as caught in Hashirama’s Orbit as anyone? If not him, Mito? An entourage of villagers to see him off? Why alone so far north, no Daimyo will claim it.

The thoughts turn something like sadness and grief and anger over in his chest but Madara has long since abandoned the path of friendship and love and whatever nonsense Hashirama believes will stop bloodshed. Hashirama showing up will not change that, but the thought of him dying alone still feels like pins and needles.

It is perfect, he thinks a little numbly, the Gedo Mazou isn’t stable despite them trying to reaffirm the husk with Hashirama’s cells. The actual Hashirama though, that might work. 

“Put him here, Madara” Zetsu says, gesturing to the table. 

Madara lays his ex-best friend out as Zetsu procures sealing paper and ink. 

“Here, let’s start. See if we can match him up. Do you understand? the stuff we used before, let’s do that again” 

Madara nods and they get to work

Eventually, they come up with something. Hashirama will be sacrificed, but apparently he was on his way to die anyways, with him turning into a tree and all. 

When he does they’ll use some seals to merge him with the statue. It’s simple really, an easy solution to all their fretting. 

“It will better hold the beasts, have more stability, a stronger weapon if nothing else” Zetsu says. 

Madara agrees because yes, he knows. With Hashirama the Gedo Mazou’s strength will come back significantly. 

“Yes, you will be able to control it easier too.” 

That however, catches Madara’s attention. 

“You said the no matter how much of Hashirama’s cells we add to the structure, it wouldn’t be any easier to control” Madara says sharply 

And Zetsu has said that. Explicitly. That no matter the altercations they make, the Gedo Mazou and then the ten tails will not be easy to control by any means. 

The plant in question looks over at him and pauses.  

How uncharacteristic of it, Madara thinks grimly. 

“When Mokuton users.... transform. Their chakra fuels the trees transformation and lets it grow in a way that reflects the user before the soul departs and all its left with is natural chakra.” 

“However, the seal we’re using is one like that Uzumaki witch used to seal the bijuu into herself. To seal a chakra beast is to seal its soul. His will be trapped to the Gedo Mazou, with the split conscious it will be easier for you to capitalize on that” 

He’s watching for a reaction, Madara thinks, he thinks telling him this will make him not go through with it. 

_To hell with it_

“I see. A split mind gives me more leeway to control the stronger side and the weaker will follow, with the power of the rinnegan, of course.” 

“Of course” Zetsu agrees 

The plant leaves then, for whatever final preparations there are on the statue, leaving Madara with the still unconscious Hashirama. 

Madara lets his gaze wander over the man spread out on the table, covered in seals. 

He’s woken up a few times, increasingly drowsier and confused each time 

Zetsu said it’s almost time, that normally it only takes him falling asleep once before he’ll change and they have to be ready, or they’ll miss their chance.  

Madara is supposed to make sure that Hashirama doesn’t fall back asleep after he wakes up again. Not until they have him where they need him  

On cue, Hashirama starts stirring and Madara makes sure his expression is schooled into something appropriate as he watches the man he once called his best friend blink the sap away from his eyes and focus groggily on Madara. 

“Madara.... wha’s happen’g” he slurs 

Madara isn’t sure what takes over him but he leans down, hand raising up to cradle the side of Hashirama’s face, gently sweeping his hair to the side. 

He makes a gentle shushing noise and says,” don’t worry, Hashirama, everything is okay. Everything will be fine, stay with me okay?” 

Hashirama blinks at him, eyes looking but not truly seeing, but nods nonetheless. 

Madara hears Zetsu’s quiet cursing from behind him, he must have realized they only are going to get one more shot at this. How Zetsu can tell he has no clue, but Madara has found it knows a lot of things it shouldn’t.

Madara glances back down again and realizes Hashirama’s dozing off again, and _fuck_ , Madara thinks, he needs to stop worrying about fucking Zetsu of all things.

“Hey, Hashirama look at me. Don’t close your eyes, not till I say so. When I do you’ll close them, and wake up again, I promise. Everything will be okay.” 

Well Madara is pretty sure that’s how it’s going to work anyways. With millennial old alien technology one can never be too confident. He wonders if this is how Tobirama feels with his experiments, and why he snaps at people when they interfere. This is stressful, trying to make sure everything lines up exactly right.

Hashirama lets out a sigh, breaking him out of his thoughts, “okay, doesn’ hurt an’more, jus’ tired.”

“That’s it” Madara encourages,” no more pain, not for you, and soon not for anyone else either” 

Madara glances to Zetsu who’s motioning him to bring him over 

“I’m going to pick you up, just a few minutes and you can go back to sleep okay Hashirama? Stay with me now.” 

Hashirama blinks his eyes open,” hurry up” he mumbles 

Madara can’t help but roll his eyes, the demanding bastard. The only one worse than him is his demon brother... and even that makes something turn over in Madara’s chest after all these years.

He scoops Hashirama up bridal style this time and brings him to the giant lotus that the Gedo Mazou sits upon. 

He goes over to where Zetsu waves him too and puts down the god of shinobi. He leans him back to rest against the statue and lines the seals up. 

“Okay Hashirama” Madara says gently, moving the hair out of his face again, “you can rest now, ya hear?” 

But Hashirama is already leaning back and closing his eyes. 

Zetsu curses and grabs Madara, yanking him back off the flower to the cave floor. 

Madara can’t even curse him out for being paranoid because no sooner does Hashirama fall asleep does it happen. 

His sage markings come to life, red stark against tan skin. This time gold lines them, and his body seems to glow in an unnatural sort of way. 

The seals placed on him light up and soon the whole statue follows suit, glittering gold. 

Madara activates his Sharingan, ingrains how Hashirama seems to just morph and slide right out of his skin as wood encases his body and the seals bring the growing tree right back into the statue. 

He couldn’t name the type of tree he morphed into, but it figures since Hashirama has always been something he could put his finger on.  

The Gedo Mazou comes to life then, shifting beneath the seals as the husk stretches and groans to match the tree now forging itself with it. 

It’s head shakes, once, twice and then it lets out an inhuman roar that echoes and makes Madara thinks he’ll go deaf from before falling deathly silent. 

Madara and Zetsu wait one second, two, three. 

The statue relaxes, by passing the familiar straight backed lotus position it usually takes for something much more casual, a slouch, almost. 

A position Madara would recognize even without his Sharingan overlaying pictures of Hashirama doing the same thing at his desk, his table, the bar, riling up his brother or begging for more sake from his wife.

“It worked” Madara whispers. One part is preening at the fact that he’s successfully merged two superpowers together and fixed whatever potential future problems the husk of the ten tails would have caused. 

The other part is like the pain of pushing a sword through his heart because he just sealed Hashirama into a monster, turned him into a —

“It did” Zetsu agrees, “I will monitor it for any changes in the meantime.” 

Madara nods and takes the opportunity to stroll away. If he stares too long, Zetsu will see guilt. 

If Madara thinks about it too long, he’ll think about what his real brother would say if he could see him. What Hashirama would say had he been in the right mind. 

What Tobirama would say if he saw his brother now. 

Madara snarls,  _no_ , he thinks,  _this is right. Hashirama and I were always meant to change this world and we_ will _. We tried his way and it failed so now it’s my turn and this will work. Even ungrateful assholes like Tobirama will see it, I will make sure of it._

He tells himself this and doesn’t let himself think otherwise. He brings it down into his dreams that night. Let’s himself dream of a world that isn’t broken by death where he stands by all his brothers, alive and healthy. He stands by his lover whose hands were never tainted. He’s stands by his best friend who is not glowing golden and red and green and wooden.

There is no Zetsu. There is no Gedo Mazou. No strange symbols carved in stone. No swords needed to be forged or smiths making armor. Everyone is alive and well and happy. 

This is the reality in his dream and he will make it a reality out of it as well. 

The moon is dyed red as blood and everything is finally finally  _right_

**Author's Note:**

> >:) 
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. all chapters are drafted just got to find time to edit around finals


End file.
